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Thing of the week:
By Ian Grant
Look, I know it's supposed to be winter and everything but this is stretching the point, don't you think?

Aside from having to find other things to do on a Saturday afternoon, and spending small fortunes in record and book shops as a result, there's the almost impossible task of trying to keep my flat warm with a storage heater. Storage heaters, what are they good for? (Absolutely nothing, say it again). We're talking about a device that's supposed to be energy efficient by saving up heat during the night and emitting it at a steady rate throughout the day - yet, in reality, it gives out such a poxy amount of warmth that you have to have it on all the time to get the slightest benefit, whilst also employing a fan heater and having the oven blasting away for good measure. And, even then, you end up hiding under the duvet like a sad loser.

The only good thing about cold weather is that it's a great leveller. For those of us not blessed with huge quantities of drop-dead cool, it's gratifying to know that everyone looks like an idiot when they're trying to avoid tumbling on their arses on black ice. Craig Ramage has made a career out of falling over for no good reason - now we can all find out how he feels.

I'll be complaining that it's too hot over the summer, obviously...