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Gone but not forgotten:
Patrick Blondeau
Position: Right back
From: Olympique Marseille - free transfer - July 2001
Record: Played: 27(1) Scored: 0
To: ??? - free transfer - July 2002
Career stats: Soccerbase
He was: A bored goldfish

"Patrick Blondeau, then."

"Yeah, Patrick Blondeau...."

"Good, was he?"

"Oh, terrific."



"But...he was a French international once, wasn't he? And he played for Monaco and Bordeaux and Marseilles, which isn't too bad. And you seemed quite impressed with him at the start of the season...."

"Well, yeah...I mean, that's true, but...."


"More often than could easily be forgiven, particularly when things weren't going especially well, he appeared to have the concentration of a bored goldfish. Albeit an extremely well-paid goldfish. He wasn't so much lazy as just...well, not exactly focused on the job to the exclusion of all else. Which was particularly annoying, as he looked to be capable enough when he was in the mood...and when he could avoid getting injured in the first five minutes of the game. As it was, Lloyd Doyley made roughly the same number of mistakes, only with a refreshing, whole-hearted, bounding enthusiasm that Blondeau seemed to lack entirely...."

"So, he lost his place to this Doyley chap, then?"

"No, he didn't. Which was the kind of thing that rather played into the hands of Luca Vialli's critics, really. In fact, he appeared destined to avoid the transfer-listing and contract-settling, until Vialli's departure."

"Anything else?"

"No. Oh, well, perhaps it's worth mentioning that his rare moments of passion and commitment seemed to involve rather a lot of random hurtling around, usually ending with a brutal foul on whichever opponent happened to get in the way. This should've resulted in a red card at Maine Road on the first day of the season, and did result in a red card at Bradford later on. So, perhaps, we should be grateful for his general lack of passion and commitment, after all...."

"Oh, right. Are you going to write about him for BSaD, then?"

"Nah, can't be arsed."