Headline

There's excellent pun potential because Watford's nickname is The Hornets and also the manager is called Taylor. So you're spoilt for choice - use either "sting" (verb) or "Taylor-made" (adjective). Often you can use "sting" with the nickname of the other team too. That works especially well if it's an animal - sports editors just love eye-catching headlines such as "Hornets sting Foxes", "Hornets sting Canaries", "Hornets sting Tykes", etc.

Use of the other pun

Your main text should include whichever of "sting" and "Taylor-made" you haven't used in the title. If Watford did well, you can write that they stung the opposition or that it was a Taylor-made performance. If they didn't, you can write that the opposition drew their sting or that Watford's tactics were Taylor-made for the opposition. Oh, and there's also the "Watford Gap" pun for poor defending - that always goes down well.

If you're a tabloid journalist, just add on the names of the goal-scorers (if any) and chances are that'll do. However, if you're unlucky enough to be writing a more in-depth feature, you'll probably find the following background info useful.

The club's set-up

Watford are a small club who belong in the lower divisions. But in the 1970s and 1980s Elton John poured in millions of pounds to buy them success, and this was duly achieved (without spending any money on players, though don't bother to put that bit in as it could confuse some readers). Watford are best known for their Long Ball tactics, which are always worth a mention. Twenty years on, Graham Taylor is back as manager (after failing with England and Wolves - a "turnip" reference is obligatory at that point in your story) and it's happening all over again.

Famous fans

In addition to Elton John, famous Watford fans include Ginger Spice, Pete Fincham, Rupert Murdoch, Vinnie Jones, Myra Hindley, Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein.

Players

Alex Chamberlain (G): veteran keeper, and half-brother of former England winger Mark.

Peter Robinson (FB): one of the new generation of Watford hard men, whose main job is to kick the opposition's star player out of the game.

Nigel Gibson (FB): former England U-21 international known to the fans as "Gibs", the veteran hard man is back to full fitness after years of career-threatening nosebleeds.

Paul Kennedy (FB): Irish full-back who was Watford's top goal-scorer in 1997-98, which obviously reflected Watford's Long Ball tactics.

Stevie Palmer (CD): older brother of former England international Carlton. Stevie is the calming influence at the heart of the Watford defence and likes a smoke.

Kevin Millen (CD): veteran hard man now back at the club after an unsuccessful spell at Crystal Palace. Can also play in goal.

Richard Page (CD): former Welsh U-21 international, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Robert Johnson (MF): former Australian U-21 international, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Mike O'Hyde (MF): former New Zealand U-21 international, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Allan Hanzan (MF): former Israeli U-21 international, Ronnie Rosental's brother-in-law.

Alon Smart (A): former Cardiff City player, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Noel Gifton-Williams (A): former England U-21 international, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Mick Wright (A): nephew of England striker Ian, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Jon Goodmanson (A): Icelandic U-21 international, and another of the new generation of Watford hard men.

Transfer rumours

Watford's record fee is still the ten pound book token they paid AC Hemel Hempstead for the services of Luther Blissett in 1972. This means that you will have the chance to insert the phrase "Taylor looks set to shatter the club's transfer record" during any piece of unfounded speculation. If you've got some space to fill, just make up something about the return of John Barnes, who was worshipped at Watford for his dazzling suits during the eighties and has been rubbish ever since.