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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
00/01: Season preview:
Gillingham: opposition opinion
by The Donkey's Tale

How will Gillingham do next season?
Our aim is not to get relegated. Hopefully, we'll at least achieve that and then push on from there. No disrespect, but if Stockport, Grimsby, Crewe et al can survive at this level, I bloody well hope we can.

What do you/Gillingham think of Watford?
My Gran was a Watford fan, so I've never wished them any ill. Other than that, I'm afraid they're just another club. A useful source of players for us in recent years though. Thanks.

What is the most beautiful thing about Gillingham?
The Gills have never struck me as a thing of great beauty. If pushed, I'd say most of the supporters. On the whole, they get behind the team and don't tend to moan too much. We appreciate the good times now as we've had so many years of absolute rubbish to put up with in the past.

What is the ugliest thing about Gillingham?
We've our share of moronic supporters like everyone else. There's a delightful bunch from East Kent who seem to think that Herne Bay and Margate are somehow connected to the six counties of Northern Ireland and delight in singing vile songs which have nothing to do with football and even less to do with Gillingham. The sooner these twats either grow up or piss off the better.

Which pundit do Gillingham fans hate the most and please think of something creative to do to him/her?
Mark Lawrenson. A rabid anti-Gills fan and he never misses an opportunity to put us down. On Match of the Day last season when Southall scored that magnificent third goal from thirty yards in the FA Cup against Sheff Wed, it was head and shoulders above all other contenders for Goal of the Month. Lawrenson refused to even put it in the top three - much to Lineker's disgust. As for what to do with him. Hmm... how about stoning him to death at half time during the game between Gills and his beloved PNE? Or towing him behind the team coach all the way to away games? Oh yeah, I like that one.

Can you recommend a friendly pub near the Priestfield?
I could, but it's a small place and tucked away. If I recommended it, it'd get too busy on a Saturday lunchtime and we wouldn't get in any more. Seriously, though, The Falcon in Marlborough Rd, or the Will Adams in Saxton Street are nice places with good beer and a friendly atmosphere, about a twenty-minute walk from the ground (or get a cab).

Where's the best place to park near the Priestfield?
Anywhere there's a space. Parking is not good near the ground.

What's the nearest railway station to the Priestfield and how far is it ?
Gillingham. About a ten-minute walk. Come out of the station, turn left, turn left and keep going.